Birthday Boy
by CharlesTheBold
Summary: It's Luke's 18th birthday, and in honor of the occasion he gets a gift from God. But divine gifts can be formidable - PLEASE REVIEW.
1. Birthday Guests

**BIRTHDAY BOY**

_(Disclaimer: I have no business connection with JOAN OF ARCADIA. My only purpose in writing this story is to have fun and maybe share it. _

_(Author's Note: This story is part of a series that takes place in the years after the show ended. A listing of the other stories is on my profile. As far as this story is concerned, the main events that have happened since May 2005 are:_

_Luke and Grace have been let into Joan's secret, and the pair have become lovers. Thanks to a divine favor, they can sometimes share dreams even though Luke is at Harvard and Grace is doing social work abroad. Luke has named his research project after his girlfriend, calling it "Grace's Nucleic Acid"._

_Joan has married Adam; Sister Lily has married Kevin; Glynis has married Friedman._

_Helen is also in on Joan's secret._

**Chapter 1 Birthday Guests **

It was Luke's 18th birthday, and by a miracle he was able to finish his fall 2006 exams and head to Arcadia to celebrate the occasion – he wondered if a certain Somebody was responsible for the miracle.

One of his first acts on reaching home was to attach his laptop back on line. There was an Email from Grace, who was working for a famine-relief program overseas.

_Dear Dork: I'm sorry I can't be there in person for the milestone birthday. But I'll be __with you in my dreams – Grace._

Luke clicked reply.

_Amazing Grace: I understand. I will dream about you too – the Dork._

To anybody who might attempt to pry into their Email (though there was no sign of that at the moment) it sounded innocuous and a little goopy, particularly for Grace. But in reality they were setting a "date" of sorts, in code. God had given them a special gift, an ability to get together in dreams even when separated by thousands of kilometers of ordinary space. For it to happen, Luke, Grace, and God all had to will it for the same night.

A few hours later, Luke got into bed, hoping that it would happen again. But when he woke up and found himself still in his room, he realized that the wish must have failed.

"Luke?"

"Grace? What are you doing in my room?" He squinted and put his glasses on, which were resting on his night table, right where he had left them in reality. He saw that Grace was standing near his bed.

"I don't think this is your room. I think this is a copy of your room in dreamland." She sat down on his bed, close to him.

They always found themselves in some sort of quarters of sorts appropriate for lovemaking, but God always varied the details. Once, after an encounter with Cowgirl God, they found themselves in a barn with a haystack. God seemed to think that was very funny.

"But why – oh I get it," said Luke. "This isn't just my birthday, it's also the anniversary of the day you visited me in here and said you were giving yourself to me as a birthday present."

"Good lord, what a corny joke that was. I don't 'give myself' to anybody. We're equals, and I work with them."

"So. You wanna get to work?" Luke grinned.

Grace returned the grin. "Love to." She leaped towards him and their lips met.

A few minutes later, Grace commented, "Luke, you seem a little distracted. Of course this is your big day, so I understand if you've got a lot on your mind--"

"It isn't that, Grace. I wish I knew how this operated. The whole dreamland business I mean."

"I don't care, as long as it keeps operating." She intimately traced a line between two of his freckles.

"Grace, it's not like you to just lie back and accept things. Um, pardon the double entendre." The woman in question giggled at the pun but let him continue his line of thought. "I mean, you tend to question things."

"I question things when I think somebody is trying to rip me off. And when I do, I question the why, not the how. But I trust God. And even if I didn't, if this is what I get, then I don't care about being ripped off. Seems like a good deal to me." She leaned up and kissed his neck, trying to get him to respond.

"In science it's crucial to be able to replicate a phenomenon, because that proves that you understand the cause and effect. I don't understand this."

Grace groaned. She placed her hands on either side of Luke's face and looked into his eyes. "Luke, do us both a favor and turn off your brain for a while, okay?"

Luke did, and woke up that morning with very pleasant memories. But when his brain came back on, he couldn't help but try and figure it out all over again. Did their souls leave their bodies and meet somewhere else in the universe? Or were they in a parallel world where distance didn't matter? Or was it all an illusion?

But today was his birthday, and he had plenty of distractions, none of them as entertaining as the night's.

Adam and Joan had come back to Arcadia for the event, and Adam had prepared what he called a theme party. When Luke went to the ballroom that his family had rented, he found it decorated all over with images of doors, gates, and arches. Mom had helped out with the art, and Joan with the purely practical side of the decorations. Luke appreciated the effort his brother-in-law and mother had put into it, but was puzzled as to what it meant.

"When midnight comes," directed Joan, "we want you to walk through that arch there. Make the transition from teenager to adult."

"Oh, I get it now," said Luke. "Entering a new phase of life. I'm not used to thinking about things symbolically."

"Symbols have their place," said Sister Lily, walking up with a bit of a waddle. "Dante, at the beginning of his Paradiso, said some mysteries couldn't be understood directly, but had to be presented in the form of symbols."

"No offense, Lily," said Luke, "but I always think of mysteries as something to be solved. Symbols are just a convenience, not a solution."

"If they can be solved," the pregnant ex-nun said cheerfully. "Do you think scientists will ever completely solve the mystery of THIS?" She patted her swelling belly. "Sure, they can join the egg and sperm in a test tube, and maybe they'll figure out cloning someday, but they're always starting with something that already exists. Can they create human life from scratch?"

"Maybe, in a million years."

"Doesn't that mean never?" asked Lily amiably. She clearly understood that this was a spirited intellectual discussion, not a bitter argument.

"No, because it took evolution billions of years to carry it off. Humans may do it a thousand times faster."

"Maybe we can help speed up the process," said another female voice. Glynis was walking toward them, followed by her husband Friedman. She held up a box, wrapped as a present, and clearly the size and shape of a CD. "We meant to give you this as a present, Luke, but it does fit into the conversation."

By rights Glynis and Friedmann should have made it to Harvard, or a comparable college, as Luke had. But the events of a wild afternoon some sixteen months had left Glynis in a delicate condition, and they had had to put their education lives on hold for a while to deal with marriage and childbirth.

"Glynie and I read your paper about 'Grace's Nucleic Acid'," said Friedmann, "and we wrote a computer simulation to speed up the research. Happy birthday, Luke."

"Wow, thanks!"

"Frankly, it was a way of keeping my hand in," admitted Glynis. "I'm too busy with the baby to attend classes until next year, but if it's just a matter of playing with the computer, I can multitask."

"I don't understand."

"I worked out a way to breastfeed the baby and do computer work at the same time."

Luke reflexively looked down toward Glynis's breasts, then turned red when he realized what he was doing.

"I TOLD you he'd be flustered," Friedman said triumphantly.

"No reason to get all silly! Breasts have a perfectly natural function," objected Glynis. "Of course I've heard the theory. Men admire breasts because it means the woman can nurse children. But we already know that in my case—"

Mom walked up and interrupted the awkward conversation, to Luke's relief. "Luke, I think a special friend has just arrived." She nodded toward the entrance, and Luke turned to look, glad to get away from the outspoken couple. His heart sped up as his mind imagined Grace walking through the door. It wasn't her though.

Cute Boy God had just walked in.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Let There be Light

**BIRTHDAY BOY**

**Chapter 2 Let There be Light**

Joan sidled up to her brother and whispered "Do you see—?"

"Yeah. Do you think He has a mission for me?"

"I don't think He'd ruin your birthday. Could be a mission for me, though. I guess I better find out."

Luke decided to let Joan handle it. Everybody's attention was on Luke, the birthday boy, and if he had a long conversation with the Boy he would have to explain who He was. Luke didn't have a good cover story.

Meanwhile several people seemed to have noticed the Friedmans' gifts to Luke, and brought out their own. Everybody seemed to be aware that Luke's space in his dorm room was quite restricted, and gave him things that weren't bulky, mostly computer software and other small items.

Elizabeth Groetzmann's gift, when unwrapped, turned out to be a recording of a performance of a play called PROOF. "It's about some nerds," she said somewhat apologetically, "and I don't know what they're talking about, but I presume you can figure it out."

"Yeah, thanks," said Luke, unsure whether that was a compliment or not. He had heard of the play and was curious to see what it was about.

His mother gave him a rolled-up painting she had done, showing Luke standing with Newton, Einstein, and Hawking. "It'll look good on your wall." She smiled.

"Yeah, assuming my roommate doesn't tease me to death about it." He could see the smile wavering from his mother's face. "But whatever. He can deal." Luke grinned. He was actually really pleased with the gift.

His father gave him an old book about Sherlock Holmes. "Very dear to me while I was growing up. I would read it when – well, never mind that now. It's time to pass it down to you."

Sister Lily had a book called DOCTOR MIRABILIS, "about Roger Bacon, the first modern scientist", she explained.

Joan walked over with a large package, and Luke groaned; at least one benefactor had given him something bulky. "That cute boy couldn't stay, but he left this for you," she said loudly. Luke and the others in the know would realize that she meant Cute Boy God, and the others would just assume that it was a casual friend from high school.

Luke took off the wrapping, opened the box, and stared. "A lamp?"

It was a desk lamp, with an adjustable handle and a cover that blocked light except in one direction.

"Well, it looks better than the ones I made in…arts and crafts." said Joan, suddenly catching herself. She was NOT going to discuss Crazy Camp in front of everybody. "The boy left a card, too." She handed it over to Luke.

It was not an everyday birthday card. On it was written: "The lamp symbolizes enlightenment. If you wish for knowledge, come back here at midnight. Do not come alone. Bring somebody that you trust."

Luke put it aside for now, before anybody else could ask to see it, and started unwrapping Kevin's present.

--------

That night, after 11:00, Luke and Joan drove back to the hotel where the family had held the big party. This being November, it was near freezing outside and they had bundled up.

"I wish Adam could have come," said Joan. "This is a bit spooky."

Luke personally reflected that Adam was probably not much help when things got spooky, but he refrained from criticizing her sister's husband. "The more of us come, the more attention we'll get. As it is, Adam can distract everybody."

Luke wondered if they could even get back into the rented ballroom, but the hotel people acted as if it was a reasonable request. On entering, they even found Adam's decorations still up, including an 8-foot-high Styrofoam arch in the center of the room. God must have been pulling some strings behind the scenes – then felt very uncomfortable with that image, because were humans the divine puppets?

"Hello, Luke, Joan," said Cute Boy God's voice behind them. He must have materialized there, because they had closed the door behind them. "So you decided that you want more knowledge."

"You've been reading my mind," replied Luke. "Yeah, I'm tired of running into miracles that seem to violate the rules of science. I want more of an idea of how things work."

"You asked me for that a year ago," said the Cute Boy. He didn't sound upset or frustrated. If anything, He sounded somewhat amused.

"Yeah, and you said it was cooler for mankind to discover answers for themselves. But I promise not to tell anybody. Most of this stuff that matters only to me, anyway. Like how the dream world works."

"I asked for knowledge once," Joan put in unexpectedly. "It didn't work out."

"How do you mean?" asked Luke, who had never heard her mention this.

"It was 3 years ago, when Rocky died. I was all torn up at the funeral, and I demanded that God show me the big picture, so I could understand why." She turned to the Cute Boy. "You were playing the undertaker."

"Did you get the big picture?" asked Luke.

"I did, but it was too much for me. I fainted, and when I came to, it was all a blur."

"Um, I don't want THAT much knowledge," hedged Luke.

"You have served me faithfully for over a year," said Cute Boy God. "Because of that, and because it's your special birthday, I'll let you know one secret. Beyond that, you must seek to know more, and it can be dangerous."

"I'm willing to take some risk." Luke wasn't sure what kind of dangers he was going to have to face though.

"It's not that simple. In your eagerness for knowledge, you may take too much risk. I would like Joan to go with you. If she thinks the danger is too much for the prize, the two of you must turn around."

"It sounds like you're talking about a journey."

"A symbolic journey. But Joan has the option of turning it down. Free will, always."

Joan regarded Luke for a moment. "Luke, you're my brother and I love you. I know that this means a lot to you, so I'll come along. But if things get hairy, I may chicken out."

"Thank you, Joan, I love you," said Luke. "Okay, I'll go on this journey. But our family's going to get worried if we're gone a long time."

"Real time will not pass," said Cute Boy God. "You will come back to the split second you left."

"Um, okay."

"What do we do?" asked Joan.

Cute Boy God pointed to the 8-foot Styrofoam arch. "Pass through there. Whenever you see a white arch, it will take you further in your journey. A black arch will bring you back."

"Okay. Ready to give it a try, Joan?"

"I suppose so." Luke could tell that Joan was nervous about this, but going through it for Luke's sake. He appreciated the gesture and vowed to somehow make it up to her.

Holding hands, they went through Adam's work of art, and the ordinary world vanished.

TO BE CONTINUED.


	3. Homo Secundus

**Chapter 3 HOMO SECUNDUS**

"So where are we?" asked Joan, looking around.

"I don't know. Somewhere dark, and rather hot."

"Yeah, I figured that much out myself, Mr. Obvious."

"You don't think he put us in hell, do you? Outer darkness, everlasting fire-"

"Ugh. But he said this was a gift, not a punishment," said Joan. "An answer to your questions. So what was the question?"

"Um, I had several."

"Any of them more important than any other?" In any other situation, Joan would have been annoyed with Luke. But putting them here was God's idea, not Luke's.

Luke pondered. "Well, there's evolution. The scientific evidence is that man evolved over millions of years, from other species that had been evolving for two billion years. The question is, why did God do it that way, when he could have created man the biblical way – all at once, just by a word?"

"That IS a rather cool question."

"Thanks. I'm glad something is cool here."

Joan looked around. "Hey! I think I see the sky brightening over there. Sunrise. So we'll get some light."

"AND more heat. We'd better take our winter things off, and look for some shelter."

"OK. But we need to keep our coats with us – no telling where we'll end up next."

As the sun rose, and the pair could see better, it became clear that they were in a sort of desert. Yet it was not the stereotypical desert with sand and dunes. The ground was dirt in some places, cracked hardened mud in others. Luke had the impression that this area was once fertile and heated up somehow.

"There's a building," said Joan, her voice showing signs of relief. "Though it looks weird."

Luke looked where Joan was pointing. It seemed to be 3 huge slabs of glass, built in a tetrahedron, with the ground itself supplying the fourth "face". Inside were huge stacks of crates. Those in the middle were taller than those on the edges, as if taking advantage of the tetrahedral shape.

"Some sort of storage," said Joan. "Maybe it'll be cooler."

"Glass tends to create a greenhouse effect, making things hotter," warned Luke.

"At least we can give it a try. What do we have to lose?"

She was right. The siblings circled the tetrahedron until they found an opening in the slab. Once they went inside, they were indeed cooler, as if the glass let in light but somehow kept out the solar heat. Luke was curious as to what caused the effect, but a series of more important puzzles came up.

"Somebody's coming," said Joan, looking out through the glass.

Luke looked out, and saw animals pulling a cart. There was a man sitting at the front of the cart. He had no shirt, and Luke wondered why the man wasn't worried about sunburn, or getting dehydrated from sweating too much. As the cart got closer, Luke had another puzzle: he seemed to just be sitting there with his arms akimbo.

"I wonder how he's controlling those horses?" Luke mused.

"Camels," corrected Joan.

"Horses with humps."

"Yeah. Boy, they're ugly."

"Ugliness can be subjective. Combine the advantages of horses with camels' ability to retain water, and they could be pretty useful in a desert."

Joan seemed to focus on something else. "I hope he doesn't think we're trespassing in this pyramid thingy."

"I doubt it. I think God arranged it this way, so we'd meet this guy. What's the probability otherwise, that we'd find a storage building and a delivery cart in the middle of the desert?"

They probably wouldn't have to wait very long for an answer, because the camels/horses stopped several yards from the dome, and the man stared through the glass at Joan and Luke. Yet he seemed to be startled rather than angry or frightened. He seemed to reach a decision, and jumped out of the cart. The Girardis gasped.

"He's got no clothes on!" exclaimed Joan, embarrassed.

"It's not a he," objected Luke, flustered. "No, um, male things down there."

"No breasts either. What is it?"

"I don't know, but I don't think it'll be polite to call it an, well, it."

The carter – nice neutral word – walked inside the tetrahedron. Holding up his hand, apparently as a gesture for them to wait, he walked to one of the storage crates in the stacks. There was something odd about his backside, but both Girardis were too embarrassed to note details. The carter took out a thing like a basketball with a lot of buttons with on it, placed it on the ground, and walked off. The basketball started to talk in an incomprehensible language. No, languages – Luke thought he could hear differences in the sounds. Finally –

"_Parlez-vous francais?_

"_Non! Nous parlons anglais_!" said Joan, remembering her high-school French lessons by a miracle.

"Good. We recorded all known languages of the Primuses in this computer, in case we should come across recordings in the old artifacts. We never thought we would see living Primuses."

"What are Primuses, and why do you call us that?" asked Luke.

"Primuses are short for Homo Primus, our name for your species. We could identify you because our scans tell us that you have external organs of generation, and your companion has external mammary glands."

"It's looking at my boobs!" yelled Joan, crossing her arms over her chest.

Luke went red and addressed the computer firmly. "Yeah, and we're also wearing clothes, and it's not polite to peep through them!"

"The clothes are another clue, since our records say the Primuses had few natural defenses, and relied on artificial coverings. We did not realize that the coverings also had social significance. Forgive us."

"Um, yeah, we forgive you," said Luke awkwardly, and Joan nodded shakily. "Could you tell us who you are? I mean, that, um, man?"

"My designers belong to the species Homo Secundus. They evolved when Earth became too hot for Homo Primus."

Finally things became a bit clearer to Luke. God had transported them to the far future – so far that Earth had changed its environment and mankind had evolved into something else. For that matter, horses had evolved as well.

"Why did it get hot?" asked Joan.

"That is a very long story."

Luke was following a different line of thought. "Evolution" sounded positive, but it had its dark side. Survival of the fittest implied that something that didn't fit died. "So you're saying our species is extinct?" asked Luke in concern.

"A matter of definition. Once specimens of Homo Secundus developed and proved viable, Homo Primus introduced their genes into their own genome. After all, it was clearly a better design."

"Oh, really?" asked Joan, a bit miffed. This stupid computer just insulted all humanity!

"More tolerance for heat, less vulnerable external organs, ability to communicate telepathically with higher animals. You seem offended. Forgive us again. It is likely that Homo Primus had some virtues of their own that are not mentioned in our records."

"Yeah, we do," said Joan. "Like – um, give me a minute to think of some."

"I'm starting to catch on," said Luke. "This storage place, it's where you put artifacts that we – Homo Primus – left behind, right?"

"Yes. They were designed for lower temperatures and we need to keep them chilled."

"Why do you use those horse things?" asked Joan, who hated the species. Contact with a horse tick had given her Lyme Disease several years ago, and another horse had run away this summer with Joan on its back. "You've got really advanced computers, obviously, so why don't you have cars and trucks and other motorized vehicles?"

"The motors that you mention depended on certain chemicals. There are few of them left on Earth nowadays."

"The oil? What happened to it?"

"You burned it all."

Joan blushed again. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry," she said, but feeling silly because she hadn't used it all up herself. Heck, she hadn't even been around when they finished the supply. Still, here they were the only representatives of humanity. It was probably good that they were talking to a computer, and not to a "Homo Secundus" who might get mad over the way humanity had used up all the oil.

The same thought seemed to occur to Luke. "Um, could you let my sister and I talk alone for a minute?"

"I cannot move, but you are free to."

The Girardis circled around to another part of the tetrahedron. They really didn't have anything to say, but both of them were realizing that they have to careful dealing with these superhumans of the future. To their surprise, two new objects were standing in their path: a black arch and a white arch.

"Looks like it's time to go," said Luke.

"Won't it be rude, just walking out on them? I'd hate to do the wrong thing on a mission."

"I don't think they're real. I think the whole thing was a vision to answer my question."

"So you've got an answer?" asked Joan.

Luke thought deeply for a minute. "Yes, I think I understand why God used evolution. He didn't want mankind to be stuck in just one form. It's part of the divine plan that we'll evolve into something else someday."

"So Homo Secundus is the important version of man?" asked Joan. "Not us?"

"I don't know. Maybe there's a Third or Fourth version that's important. Or maybe all of us are important. The ability to evolve, that's what's crucial. That's the answer."

He stared at the arches. "Joan, it was very generous of you to come along on this vision. So if you want to go home now, I understand."

"No. Nothing bad happened to us except getting in hot weather for a few minutes. I'm game. Let's go forward."

And they walked through the white arch to a newer world.

TO BE CONTINUED

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know the proper Latin plural of Primus is Primi, not Primuses. It's the computer that wasn't good at Latin.)_

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: The science fiction ideas aren't original with me. The idea that the future people may be mad at present people for using up most of Earth's oil is from a sketch by Isaac Asimov. The idea about future evolution getting rid of the "vulnerable external organs" is from Sir Arthur C. Clarke's CITY AND THE STARS. The "very long story" gag is from DEEP SPACE 9's "Tribbles and Tribulations" episode, when somebody asks the awkward question about why the 1980s Klingons look different from the 1960s ones.)_


	4. Tiger, Tiger

**BIRTHDAY BOY**

**Chapter 4 TIGER, TIGER**

"Damn," said Joan. "Why do we always land in the dark?"

"I suppose it's symbolic of our ignorance ," said Luke.

"You're saying you're ignorant?" Joan said in surprise.

"By God's standards, I suppose, since He knows everything."

"Hey! I've found a tree," said Joan, feeling the wood. "At least we're not in a desert again. And it's cooler."

"Let me follow your voice to the tree. I don't want to bump into it in the dark."

"OK. So I suppose we'll find more answers here. What's the question?"

"Well, I've got several, but I don't know which one will get answered here."

"Somehow you found the right question for the answer last time. Ow! My foot!"

"Sorry, I was trying to get to the tree."

"Just circle around me. Can't you just pick a question?" Joan sounded a little frustrated. She didn't like being in the dark.

"All right. Violence and cruelty. I mean, I understand free will all right, but why did God give man such a mean streak?"

"You did get beat up in school a lot, didn't you?"

"I'm thinking of worse stuff. I mean, look of the Crucifixion story. Not in the religious sense, but just as an example of man's inhumanity. Nail somebody's wrists to a framework, then just leave him to die? What sort of sick mind first thought that up? And it wasn't just Jesus that was tortured that way. After Spartacus' rebellion—"

"Ok, Ok, you can stop there. I saw the movie."

"My point is, God made the human mind capable of thinking of brutal ways to do things. Why?"

"Don't know, but maybe we'll get an answer." Joan looked around. "I don't know whether it was your question that did it, or whether it was going to happen anyway, but I think I see a sliver of sun."

"So do I."

The sun rose slowly, of course, and the siblings stayed clinging to the tree until it became bright enough to see their surroundings.

"Did anybody tell you about Sister Lily?" Joan asked, to pass the time.

"What happened?"

"She knows our secret now."

"Wow. How did you convince her?"

"It wasn't hard, because Lily had a sort of prophetic dream. Mom thinks her baby's inherited the ol' Girardi connection-to-the-universe thing, and Lily picked up on it because the baby's inside her."

Luke snorted. "I'd love to know how that worked from the strictly biological point of view."

"Oddly enough, so did Lily. But that means everybody in the family knows except Kevin and Dad."

"And they'll be most difficult to convince, because they've never shown any interest in religion. Dad's anti-clerical, and Kevin's never been interested."

"Wait! Did you hear something?"

"Your voice."

"Something else, I mean."

"Well, shut up and let me listen – yeah, there's something over there … Joan! Run! It's a tiger!"

She spotted it even before her brother had finished speaking. It had apparently not yet seen or smelled them, but Joan was not going to wait until the last minute.

They ran.

----------

Suddenly they came upon a set of primitive huts in a clearing. It was not a probable thing to happen in the middle of a huge forest, but Luke belatedly remembered that this was a vision under God's control.

"Where are we?" asked Joan.

"I don't know. I don't see any signs of technology. Either it's a primitive village of our time, or God has sent us back in time to a more primitive level of culture. There would be a certain symmetry there, after our trip into the future."

"Symmetry?"

"Yeah. Does that remind you of something?"

"That and the tiger. A poem I read in my bookstore. Um, it went something like:

_Tiger, tiger, burning bright_

_in the forests of the night, _

_what immortal hand or eye _

_could frame thy fearful symmetry?"_

"Oh, the Stars My Destination."

"No, dork, William Blake, around 1800. Your stars book must have quoted it."

"Hey, there are people coming."

Dark-skinned people emerged from the huts. One, more richly clad than the others, addressed them in an incomprehensible language.

"Joan, make a deep bow holding out your empty hands. I'll do it too. That should convey that we have no weapons and pose no threat."

"But this is just a vision, right?"

"Yeah, but until we get our answer, I think we're supposed to pretend this is real."

The Girardi siblings bowed. Then, to Joan's astonishment, Luke seemed to go berserk: he went down on all fours and started growling out an animal. Belatedly Joan realized that he was representing a tiger, to warn the villagers, and so she pointed back toward the woods where they had seen it.

The chieftain seemed to get the message: he gave orders to other villagers, who went into the huts and brought out spears.

Right on cue, the tiger appeared, and the spearmen lined up. Joan and Luke had retreated to the opposite end of the clearing, but Luke suddenly tried to dash forward toward the fight, and Joan grabbed him.

"No, Luke, no!"

"I can't let somebody else risk their life to protect me."

"They're protecting their village. Besides, you probably couldn't even win a fight against Grace, let alone a wild animal—"

"Gee, thanks," muttered Luke sulkily, but he stayed where he was and made no further move towards the fight. His arms were crossed over his chest.

The spearmen seemed skilled at what they did, darting in and out and working as a team. But they had no inhibitions about cruelty to animals. One attacked from outside and tore a gash in the tiger's side, causing bright red blood to flow down the colorful pelt. The tiger got more angry than ever. Another aimed straight at the tiger's face and put out one eye. Luke felt nauseated and ended up throwing his birthday dinner; he could hear his sister making equally sick sounds a few feet away. When he returned his attention to the fight, the men were ganging up on the blind side where the tiger could no longer see them coming. Now they rushed in together. Luke couldn't see the details, but when the men finally backed away from the beast, it was dead, with some of its innards fallen out of a large wound.

"Oh my God!" moaned Joan. "B-b-but better the tiger than a villager, I suppose."

"Yeah," Luke echoed faintly, tempted to vomit again. He restrained it, although with difficulty. No guy liked to appear faint in front of a girl, even his sister. "Let's get out of here, Joan, and try to forget the gory details. I've got my answer." He turned around and tried to focus on the intellectual challenge rather than the gruesome sight. The siblings walked out of the clearing on the far end, and back into the woods. By common unspoken consent they did not speak until the village and violence was out of sight.

"What's your idea?" asked Joan reluctantly.

"The reason for violence. We tend to think of "prehistoric times" as just stage one in the development of civilization, but in fact it takes up most of human history – millions of years as opposed to a few thousand. It influenced the last stages of human evolution. Man HAD to be violent, because there were creatures out there that were dangerous to him. The better he was at killing, the more chance he had of surviving. Nowadays we only see wild animals safely behind barriers at zoos, so the violent instinct seems excessive. The most dangerous thing an animal ever did to us when Grace's horse ran away with you."

"I hate being reminded of that, but yeah, I get your point. The dangerous animals are gone, but we still haven't gotten the killing impulse out of our systems. So people who can't control it turn against each other. But why hasn't God done anything about it?"

"Maybe He has," mused Luke. "Given man a moral code, Thou Shalt Not Kill. And given man reason so that he can solve moral problems without resorting to violence."

"It hasn't worked," pointed out Joan.

"Maybe that's why WE are around – creating good ripples and trying to make bad situations better." Luke looked around. "There are the arches again. So what do you think, Joan? Go home, or go forward?"

Joan pondered. She knew that if it were up to her, she'd go home now. But if she retreated, Luke would have to come with her and lose his chance to get answers. And she had to admit that there was something wonderful, in spite of the discomforts, in the possibility of discovering God's answers to ancient questions. She had complained so often that God didn't tell her enough. Resisting the urge to sigh, she said, "You got more questions?"

"Yeah."

"Forward, then."

TO BE CONTINUED

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: THE STARS MY DESTINATION is a 1950s science fiction novel by Alfred Bester. The William Blake poem "Tiger, Tiger" plays an important role in the plot and the theme. Naturally, Luke recognizes the sci-fi source and Joan remembers the original from her bookstore job)_


	5. Worldviews

**BIRTHDAY BOY**

**Chapter 5 WorldViews**

_"Every __man is an abyss__, and I get dizzy looking into it_

_-- Gerog Buechner, __Woyzeck._

"Damn, I hate being in the dark."

"I'd think you'd be getting used to it by now," remarked Luke.

"It's not a matter of being used to it. It's a matter of wondering if there's another tiger out there in the dark ready to eat us. Hurry up and ask a question, Luke, and try to make it a peaceful one this time."

"Well, there's the original question I had, about whether the place where Grace and I – um –"

"I'm pretty sure I know what you and Grace do there; you don't need to spell it out." Joan's cheeks were turning red slightly, and for a moment she was glad for the dark. She knew what they did; she just didn't want to picture it.

"OK. The question is whether that world really exists or is just in our heads."

"Maybe I ought to show you that directly," said a familiar voice. They turned around to see Little Girl God. She was quite visible even though surrounded by darkness, as if She carried Her own light with Her.

"Why did You come in that form?" asked Joan.

"Why not?" said the Girl impishly, sounding spookily like a real impudent little girl.

"You told me once that the form is always fits the situation. But I've noticed that when You need to explain something complicated, You come like that. Like the day when You explained that there was a theological reason that You couldn't just heal Kevin."

"It's sort of an Alienation Effect," said Little Girl God. "When a little girl discusses advanced philosophy, you KNOW it's not a real little girl talking; that Somebody is talking through her. It gives the explanation more credibility."

"You're God. How much more credibility do You need?"

"Um, excuse me, but can we answer my question instead?" asked Luke.

Joan shrugged. "It's your birthday."

"Let me show you some imagery," said Little Girl God. "It will represent New York City of yesterday afternoon, but with some modifications to make the situation clear. Now!"

Luke and Joan found themselves in Times Square at a busy part of the day. At first it looked rather realistic to Luke, but he soon noticed the "modifications". Each person cast a shadow, but the shadows were far darker than one would expect from the sunlight, and they weren't really being cast on the pavement. Indeed, looking closer, each shadow actually looked like an actual pitch-black person-shaped THING in the air next to the original person – or maybe the absence of a thing, a hole in midair.

"Joan--?" began Luke.

"Yeah, I see it too," said Joan. "What does it mean?"

"Every human being carries his or her own personal universe around with them," said Little Girl God. "Let's just call it the WorldView. The WorldView is the way he or she perceives the world. I'm using the shadows to symbolize the Worldviews. These universes don't follow the same laws as the real universe. They are influenced by the person's perceptions, feelings, even some will power." She pointed at a wiry man walking along the sidewalk looking around nervously. "Try jumping into his shadow and you'll see what I mean."

"OK."

Joan and Luke clasped hands by wordless agreement. Luke chuckled as he suddenly realized what they were imitating: the scene in MARY POPPINS when the children jumped into the picture. All the same, he didn't let go his sister's hand as they jumped.

Suddenly Luke felt a sense of panic, without knowing why. Looking about him, he saw that the scene had changed subtly. The shadows were gone, the people were still there, but the people were uglier, and many of them looked at Joan and Luke with hatred or anger.

"Hello," said Little Girl God suddenly, making Luke jump in his current nervous state. "This particular person suffers from severe anxiety. Paranoia, almost. He sees the world as hostile to him, and we are sharing his perceptions now. Not only do people LOOK hostile, but the very air seems threatening, as I'm sure you feel."

"Right," said Joan, shivering. "Can You get us out of here?"

Suddenly the three of them were back outside the shadow, and the sense of panic went away. It had been imposed from outside, by the man's feelings.

"Try that lady next," suggested Little Girl God, pointing out a well-dressed woman watching the traffic.

"Is she paranoid too?" asked Joan worriedly.

"Not at all. Trust me; I'm omniscient."

The siblings leapt into the lady's shadow.

This time the feeling was completely different. No jitters at all, but a pervasive self-confidence. Luke felt very intelligent, very macho, very handsome – and he had to remind himself that he was absorbing the feelings of the lady and her Worldview. Looking around, he still saw people, but they had shrunk oddly.

"This lady is a highly successful businesswoman," said Little Girl God. "She attributes the success to her own skills; she thinks she is Queen of the World. By comparison, everybody else look like pipsqueaks. You must understand, of course, that I am deliberately picking extreme cases to make my point. Most people have a fairly realistic view of the world and their personal Worldviews are pretty much in sync with the physical universe."

"It still freaks me out," said Joan. "Can we get out?"

"Certainly."

They were back in the "normal" world with the shadows.

"I'm starting to get the hang of this," said Luke. "When we fall asleep, all the perceptions of the outside world are cut off, and our personal Worldviews are dominated by our own thoughts, some of them quite irrational. That's what dreams are."

"Exactly."

"What about Grace and me?"

"Normally each person's personal Worldview is invisible to everybody else," said Little Girl God. "You have one universe, and Grace has another. But since I'm God, and I'm working outside the material world, I can merge your universe with Grace's temporarily, when sensations from the outside are cut off. It's why you can only meet while you're sleeping. The technical details are quite complex, but---"

"You're omniscient, right. Well, that answers my question. The Dreamworld where I meet with Grace is a separate universe, and is real, but not in the sense that the ordinary world is real. Thank You."

"You're welcome."

The two arches appeared again, signifying that this stage of the quest was over.

Luke turned to his sister, and was startled to see her shaking, tears brimming in her eyes. "Joan! What's wrong?"

"I-I'm sorry, Luke," she said. "But this is all too much like when I had Lyme Disease. One hallucination after another, and I can't tell what's real."

"Don't apologize, Joan, it's my fault. You've been a loyal sister all through this. Tell you what. I'm finished asking questions. We can go home now. Or, if you like, we'll go on a final trip and you can ask the question this time."

Joan seemed to get herself under control, and pondered. Luke could guess what was going through her head: curiosity battling with queasiness. In his case he thought curiosity would win out, but he and his sister had different personalities.

Suddenly Joan perked up, but still looked shaken. "Yes, I've got a question. A very important one."

And she turned and walked determinedly through the white arch.

TO BE CONTINUED

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: The Alienation Effect was a term invented by German dramatist Berthold Brecht. It meant deliberately reminding the audience that they were watching a play and not real life, by doing something unrealistic on stage. I quoted a Brecht speech in the audition scene of my story PYGMALION'S ART)_

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: One more chapter to go, and a possible epilogue)_


	6. Where There's a Will

**Chapter 6 Where There's a Will**

_I always obey my own laws _

– Aslan/God, C.S. Lewis, Chronicles of Narnia III

They were in darkness again. Judging from their previous adventure, Luke wondered if they were in a universe where nothing existed except his consciousness and his sister's. It was a creepy idea, but at least it meant that there was no danger of a tiger leaping at them out of the darkness.

"So what's your question, Joan?"

"I want to know why God doesn't intervene more. Yeah, I know about free will, but it seems to me that you could give humanity free will and still help them out. I know Kevin showed poor judgment when he let that drunken friend drive their car, but why does he have to be paralyzed for life because of it? And there's Judith."

"Exactly what happened to her, Joan?" asked Luke. "You always deny that she was after drugs, but you never made clear just what she was doing in the dark alley."

"It's always been hard to talk about," said Joan. "She went skinny-dipping one night at Crazy Camp, just to thumb her nose at the camp directors. Some of the other girls took a phone-pic of her, with all of her -- you know – showing. Later they used the picture to blackmail her into introducing them to a drug dealer that she had known. Yeah, it was real poor judgment on several occasions, but she didn't deserve to have her life cut off, did she?" Tears pricked her eyes. It was still something that affected her deeply.

"No. That IS a good question, Joan."

"Thanks. OK. Let there be light—"

It wouldn't have occurred to Luke to will light in existence; he was too tied to the notion of scientific cause and effect. But the instant after Joan uttered her command, there WAS light.

They seemed to be on top of a mountain: not Mount Nashman near Arcadia, but something much taller. There seemed to be a city at its foot, but Luke didn't recognize it; maybe it was an idealized city supplied as part of their vision. He recalled that there was a Biblical story about Christ and the Devil standing on a mountain and surveying all the kingdoms of the world. Luke hoped God didn't think the boy was playing the role of the Devil.

"Hello, Jojo," said a low girl's voice behind them.

"Judith? Judith!" exclaimed Joan, rushing to embrace her friend. "It's really you, isn't it? Not just some symbolic image like the Homo Sacky thing?"

"It's really me, Jojo."

It occurred to Luke that God might have created a copy of Judith and programmed her to think that she was the real thing. He thought it better not to mention it in front of Joan, though he couldn't resist a safer query. "How come Joan can hug you? Aren't you immaterial?"

"In the physical world, yes," said Judith. "But right now you're in heaven and we're equally touchable. Come on, let's sit on these rocks here and chat. I know the question you asked."

Luke sat down. In the real word a stone like this would be irregular and uncomfortable to sit on, but God had evidently decided to supply a smooth, comfortable rock. He decided to let Joan start things off. Not only was this Joan's question, but he had also never known how to deal with Judith. To him she had been a girl who always acted on whims and never thought things through. Of course he also used to think Joan was like that, but Joan was never self-destructive, and Judith was. Two years ago, she HAD destroyed herself, at least in the physical sense.

"In order to understand Free Will," said Judith. "You have to understand what the heaven is like. You don't have Free Will here. It's strictly Her-Will-Be-Done. But what She's willing always seems to be for the best."

"Sound rather boring," observed Joan.

"Boring is one thing heaven isn't. You've got every person who ever lived here! You can go watch stuff on earth, if you don't mind being a ghost. But God realized that if She micromanaged everybody, She'd have nothing but obedient robots, and She wanted more than that. So She created a little bubble where individual souls could choose how to run things, even if it ran contrary to Her will."

"The bubble is Earth?" asked Luke.

"No, the universe."

"I thought the universe was all that existed."

"It's all that you can SEE, as long as you're physical. To a scientist, the universe means what you can observe, right?"

"Yeah." The earthly Judith could never have spoken in that scientific, philosophical way, Luke reflected, at least not as far as he had known her. She must have learned a lot after coming into heaven. And she did have a capacity for learning; Luke remembered how she had thrown herself in the AP Physics project analyzing juggling, in the last days of her life. She must have had good and inspiring teachers here.

"Get back to the souls," urged Joan.

"Right," said Judith. "It wasn't a matter of just ignoring the bubble. She was very interested in what went on, and would even make visits. Not just your avatars, like Cute Boy God. But when She visits, She limits her powers. She seldom violates the law of physics, and will never tamper with a person's Will without their permission."

"So when you got, um—" Joan was obviously trying to think of a nice way to put it.

"Whacked," said Judith bluntly, "It wasn't a punishment. It was just a horrible case of cause and effect adding up. To be sure, if I hadn't done drugs the previous year, or pulled that skinny-dipping stunt at Crazy Camp, or if I'd stood up to those girls who had the picture of my butt, it wouldn't have added up to that effect. But it wasn't a case of karma catching up with me. It was just how things happened."

"So that's what we're stuck with?" Luke asked. "S*** happens?" Luke rarely used coarse language, but it seemed appropriate in this case. He didn't like the explanation as much as he thought he would.

"It's not as bad as that. She does intervene, but always in a way that keeps the will free. I'm not just talking about scriptures and churches. She gave men reason and compassion, so the people like your father, who I know is skeptical about religion, can judge how to do the right thing. She inspires geniuses so that they can make mankind's lot better. And there are people like you, Jojo. People who are willing to go on missions for God, of their own free will, even if they don't always understand them."

"Is free will worth all the trouble?" asked Luke, skeptically.

"I only spent 17 years on Earth," said Judith. "But for all eternity, I'll remember those 17 years as the time when I could do what I wanted. I just wish I'd made better use of it. I don't think you'll make the same mistake, Jojo. Nor you, Luke." She smiled fondly at both of them.

The black arch appeared.

"Oh, d-d-d-d – I wish I could swear here!" exclaimed Judith. "I don't want you to go, Jojo! But I suppose it's time."

"But did we get our answer?" asked Luke, turning to his sister.

"Maybe not the one I hoped for," said Joan. "But I got the answer. That instead of simply complaining about the state of the world, I should keep in mind that we have the power to change it. Judith, will we see each other again?"

"If She wills it, but I don't think She'll object." She gave Joan a big hug, and the girls exchanged a kiss. Then Judith hugged Luke, although Luke felt a little awkward. "Keep a good watch on Jojo, Luke. You're a good, loving brother."

Joan took a wistful look by at Judith, but she knew where her destiny lay. She took her brother's hand and the Girardis went through the arch, back into the real world.

THE END

_(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Some of the ideas here were used in an earlier story, A DAY IN THE ETERNITY OF JUDITH, and they aren't original with me. The idea of God creating a bubble free of His control is from the Kaballah)_


End file.
